So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
