he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
