how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
