Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
