so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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