Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
