when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
