After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
