Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i drank out of a bidet.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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