I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
