so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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