I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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