my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
