I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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