sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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