Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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