I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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