I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
