he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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