If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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