i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
