i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
