it was like his penis was on wheels.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
