every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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