Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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