Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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