Soap is not a condiment
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
