he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
