so that wasnt chicken after all
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
