I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
