She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
