they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
