screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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