I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
