BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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