you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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