come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
