A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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