It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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