please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
