No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Text me some of your sweat
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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