we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
