If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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