im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
