is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
