Sry I called you an 8
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
