i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize