I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize