if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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