I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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