So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
