Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
