smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
