dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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