I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
