I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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