Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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